The history of psychology is filled with attempts to describe the deep mysteries of human functioning; who we are in the most hidden levels of ourselves and why we do the things we do. Some of those things that we do make sense and improve our lives, but much of what we do makes no logical sense at all and objectively makes our lives, and the lives of others we care about, worse. I’ve experienced this kind of confusing, nonsensical behavior in my own life and so have you – it’s common to human experience.

In addressing these issues The Human Boundaries Model turns to Systems Theory, a branch of science concerned with how parts interact to form wholes with capabilities greater than the sum of the parts, and how these systems function in nature, society, and science.

The Human Boundaries Model argues that identity is a system. It describes how identity is composed of the beliefs we all have about who and what we are; beliefs like “I am capable,” or “I am safe,” or “I am worthless,” or “I am a loser.” We all have such beliefs about ourselves; some are more positive, some are more negative.

Those of us who are mental health professionals work with a lot of people who are driven, controlled, and dominated by powerful negative beliefs. Many of these individuals couldn’t find in themselves a positive attribute if you offered them a million dollars to come up with one! In our efforts to help these individuals we see how sticky and stubborn these beliefs are, even when the person truly wants to change them and knows full well how much destruction and pain they cause.

The Human Boundaries Model identifies these beliefs as ADAPTIVE SYSTEMS; self-perpetuating, self-reinforcing, self-defending constructs that RESIST CHANGE in order to maintain their own existence.

In The Human Boundaries Model these adaptive identity systems are called “IDEAS-OF-SELF” and their tools for protecting themselves by resisting change are called HUMAN BOUNDARIES. They’re not just “boundaries,” I call them human boundaries because they are defenses that are in many ways unique to human existence.

These boundaries are powerful and they reach into all the various areas of our lives. They work to prevent us and the world around us from threatening the beliefs the boundaries protect.

• They use our emotions by activating positive feelings in us when we act in ways that strengthen the Idea-of-Self and by activating intense negative feelings in us when the Idea-of-Self is threatened with change.
• They use our habits and instinctive choices built up over time out of the repeated emotional rewards and punishments.
• They use our conscious thoughts that have been shaped since we first began to have them to protect the Idea-of-Self.
• They use our relationships and the social systems around us to create and maintain interactions that support the structures of our Ideas-of-Self.

All of these important areas of human functioning can and do become adopted and controlled by our Ideas-of-Self. These parts of our lives are made into boundaries owned and operated by the Idea-of-Self and driven to protect and preserve that deep-seated belief. This process works the same whether or not the deep belief is positive or negative, adaptive or maladaptive, whether it is an accurate reflection of our selves and the world around us or a persistent falsehood that feels powerfully true.

In the context of the Human Boundaries Model, negative, maladaptive, and inaccurate Ideas-of-Self are identified as a primary source of human suffering. These beliefs were almost always adaptive at the time they developed, usually very early in our lives, but have become toxically problematic over time.

How then do we change this arrangement that is so deep a part of who we are?

The path to the deep change we seek is based on taking control of the system’s boundaries.

The key is in understanding that the belief shapes the boundaries, but the boundaries also shape the belief – the two have an interactive, mutually supporting relationship such that you can’t change one without changing the other.

When you change the boundary, you change the thing itself – the deep belief at the center of the system.

By recognizing the key boundaries charged with protecting and preserving an Idea-of-Self and strategically altering those boundaries, we weaken the ability of that part of the identity system to effectively resist change. We take away the power of the Idea-of-Self to shape our lives in such a way as to continue maintaining that old belief in its current form. The deep belief, previously hidden from view and well protected, becomes exposed and accessible to change.

But change to what?

By understanding how boundaries work we can use them to create an entirely new system – a more positive, more adaptive belief about who we are that over time can itself become a self-perpetuating, self-reinforcing, self-defending adaptive system. One that truly makes our lives, and the lives of others we care about, better.